Thursday, February 9, 2012

Is That You In There?

I caught a glimpse of myself today; mid-vacuuming, unshowered, wearing stained sweatpants, a t-shirt that is literally hanging on by a thread and my old high school tennis sweatshirt & wondered if it's possible that I am the same person who once upon a time was a college student majoring in "fashion." ATM -Apparrels, Textiles, and Merchandising, to be precise. A major I quickly abandoned after sitting through a particularly heated "Button" lecture. An experience I paid -am still paying- thousands of dollars for. But oddly enough, after 8 years of college, three different majors, and zero degrees, the crazy expensive sewing class I took as a requirement is the one post secondary class that serves me most in my current life.

I thought briefly about what Past Me would have said if given a glimpse into the life of Present Me. A life where my daughter inquires on a nearly daily basis if I'm wearing "day time" or "night time" clothes because there is apparently little distinction between the two. Or where my daily beauty routine consists of managing a shower at some point then deciding if that particular day is deodorant worthy (I wear homemade; it can be a little rough on my skin). What would the young Womens Studies enthusiast and proud Feminist think of the Stay-at-home-mom version of me? (My opinions on that particular topic have not really changed but have become much more well rounded.)

I like to think that Young Me would have looked Not-As-Young Me in the crows feet encompassed eyes, overlooked the greying hair, and with a calm wisdom in her voice said, "I can't wait to get to know you."

My life as it is now may not be what my path always appeared to be leading to but is what I have always known deep in my heart I wanted. I am incredibly lucky to be happily married to my first and only love, and with him, have children who happen to be some of the most spectacular people to have ever graced this planet -in my humble opinion. I don't feel like I "chose" this path so much as I was made specifically for this path. Either way, this path, this journey, this life, is beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing.